Its just a phase
by KaadianSmear
Summary: I clue in to the conversation again and gently lift my gaze from the ground to what I think is the two of them, it's to late when I catch a pair of milk chocolate orbs. Everything in that moment froze for me. And my memories flooded with things I had pushed back for years. I hate it when it does this. Cause it ends up reminding me that I'm 20, and this "phase" is still lingering
1. Gone forever

_I feel so much better. Now that you're gone forever, I tell myself that I don't miss you at all, I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now_  
_ That you're gone forever_~

* * *

Southpark. God, that name still sounds as sour as it did as a child. I mean _honestly_, it's a rundown Podunk little piece of shit town. Every person living there is ignorant, judgmental, religious in some _rude_ way, and ridicule any form of _"different"_ even though their the ones as over the top ridiculous as it gets. I never once thought in my comic/sci-fi fantasy infatuation ran world I of all people would have wanted to get the fuck out of there. Growing up as Kevin Stoley no one really paid any attention to you. I guess it wasn't all a bad thing. It gave me a lot of time to reflect on myself. Ponder my behavior. It's just, they consistently_ teased, _prodded, and constantly found new ways to label me as an outcast . I was just a cure for boredom. No one ever gave a damn about me. After they were done with me, they'd just scramble away like it never happened in the first place. The only people that were truly invested in me was my parents and family who's aspirations were and are ridiculously high on my behalf. They spent all their time with me, making me study, forcing me on the honoroll, student counsel, volunteering at any place possible, and it was all just to get me ready for college. I lost all of my time to myself. And honestly, going to college? For _what?_ Some crappy little routine high-paying job? That's not going to make me happy. I was forced to put down my comic books and step foot in such a cruel disgusting reality. It made me for the most part an angrier kid all throughout senior year. Then just as easily it lit my fuse to scramble away as soon as I hit legal age to do so.

I talk like I'm some fucking reject, really, I'm not. I'm just overly frustrated with it all. But there really isn't a reason to be. It's all in the past. I keep holding on to it like its the only life I've lived. I clearly know _why I do that_, but that's another story all together. And I'd rather not talk about it. I just hate this place. But no matter how badly I trash talk the place.. It's _home_. It's my childhood. I grew up here, it was what I knew, and what I loved as a kid. So I can't just plain up hate the place all together. Cause its got that cozy label on it. That warm and fuzzy feeling of home, and I'm not able to shake it away no matter how hard I struggle. It's got me cocooned in it's wrap of cozy wool. Okay, I'm getting carried away here. There is another reason why I keep coming back. It's the one activity here that's fucking grand and makes me enjoy my bi weekly visits. _Southpark Raves_. I don't drink, smoke, do any kind of drugs, or have any addiction at all really. I just, _love_ to dance. It's so exhilarating. It's that one thing that keeps me smiling when the Con's aren't available. I am so invested in it, I even have my own little image. Call me a dork, but I wear a mask. It makes me feel like a smug talented jerk. Cause that's what I am as this persona. So as I'm standing here with my hands in the pockets of my fleece fox hoody, dorky as ever I wait at the edge of the circle. The thrumming music reverberating through my feet traveling its way up my legs, it was powerful enough to feel in my chest. It was so familiar now. I used to be so goddamn nervous at these places, I heard so many fatal stories. But when I step foot in here now, I don't even think twice. Its all about caution and making the right choices. It's second nature. And at this current moment, I'm waiting for the right chance to jump in the circle and wipe them out with dance. It's not an official competition, its just a little circle on the floor, yet I'm pumped and ready to call it a _personal competition._ I like the look on their faces. The surprise when I'm out there giving it all, but I'm officially getting known around here as of lately. There's many people who are already waiting for me to strike. I'm challenged quite often, but _no ones_ ever seen my face.

_I like it that way._ it gives me a feeling of power, and a sense of security. I am no one, I'm just a symbol of good dance. I'm that imaginary guy people get to make a face for. I'm an anonymous. I _love_ it. And it's just about my time. The floor seems scattered at the moment, and people are waiting for anyone to just jump in. Which was my intention. I couldn't help but have this sly smirk on my face. No one could see it, but I'm sure they could sense it once I was on the floor.

My feet just know what to do. I _feel_ the music. Quite literally, I'm not telling my body to do this. I just feel it. Its fucking great, it's like a release. I'm always holding back _so_ much in everyday life. I hardly ever get to just, let loose. No one ever likes what I do, I build Gundams, play magic the gathering, 3d chess, sculpt model figurines, I do all sorts of digital artwork, commissions, I sew and make my own cosplays, I can play guitar/bass/keyboard/harp, and I was a straight A student. Nothing was _ever_ enough. No one, ever gives me any recognition for the stuff that I do. I loved Star Wars, and people even ridiculed me for that. I'm _nerdy?_ When half the town was living under infatuation with _Lord Of The Rings._ I never fit in. So when I'm dancing my heart out, like right now, and hearing the cheers of _everyone_ around me. It's very _euphoric._ They love what I do here. And I'd never let that go.

Although I was at the beginnings of being a panting mess. And just as I was finishing up with an abrupt flare, another dancer entered the floor. I had just enough time to stand up, and take a look at the man before he broke into an all out rhythmic shuffle. He was _so_ in tune with the music, and dressed casual as ever. He was a shaggy haired stalky brunette, his legs were covered in some worn out light wash jeans, his shirt was just some plain burgundy T, and his shoes were so incredibly worn out that his white socks were visible through holes in his faded checkered _Chucks_. I was surprised, cause I never seen someone dance like that before. He had his hands in his pockets displaying a slack nature, but his facial expression was kind of on the _goofy_ side. He had this weird little half smirk, clearly proud of himself. I thought about jumping back in, but it was getting hot under this thin layer of plastic. The atmosphere was muggy, and making it hard to breathe. I needed a break, and besides, another person joined. So I took my leave for the back door.

The stairwell to the outside was something out of a horror movie I swear. It was so worn down, the pathway up was very thin and dark, the only light was flickering, and the stairs were just cement. The door itself looked more on the newer side though. I took note to how cold it felt under the heat of my bare clammy hand. And once it opened, the feeling of the crisp cool mountain air rushed along my neck, it was relief. I couldn't keep this on any longer, so I ripped the mask off my face and replaced it with my black rimmed glasses I've been prescribed with since I was thirteen. After that I just stood there and relished in the feel. I stood against the back wall, the brick was hard and sturdy supporting my weight like a good friend, the little fibers of fleece managed to stick to it when I shifted my weight over to the other side of my body. But it didn't exactly cool me down as much as I thought it would so I went the extra mile and unzipped the beast, giving a sigh as it sagged down my shoulders exposing my skin to the cool air. I was in a black wife beater and happy I wore it instead of a t-shirt. That thing would have been a sauna. And within a few moments I was able to shake the heat.

There was a second great thing about this town, and that was its glorious _stars_. They were so _clear._ In a city it was so muggy you could barely even see them. I bet someone who was born in the city and visiting a country or small mountain town would actually be frightened at the sight for the first time. Moving away to a city, this was one of the things I missed most. I just couldn't help but loll my head back and gander the bright specks of light glistening in the clear sky. It was a cool thought to know that there was a star as many light years away as the month I were born. There was a star for everyone for that matter. Light that traveled as many years as I am old. I'm a dork. But astronomy interests me to the _max._ Looking up at the sky it had me wondering if the light from my birth star, was being absorbed into my retina as it's last journey tonight. 21 years of traveling. Same age, born the same month as me, and it's last journey being my own eyes. It had me grinning like an idiot. I was having some kind of _nerdgasm_, I dunno. I got bubbly the more I thought about my birth star. So much so that I kinda just zoned out at the sky, its huge array of scattered white dots on its midnight blue canvas. The moon was a beautiful crescent shape tonight, gently moving a center meter away from earth every year. It was grinning at me, and I gave it a smile back. No wonder why people call me weird.

"Kevin?"

"Huh?" Without even thinking I responded to my name. The last thing I wanted was to be noticed by a _familiar_ in this town. I wanted to be the guy who just left. And as of right now, I_ completely_ blew that off. So, trying for nonchalant-_- when really on the inside I was in a maze of panic-_-I gazed through the side of my eyes in the direction I heard my name. And the_ least_ expected of all was there. Stan Marsh. I don't even speak to Stan. But I gave him my attention anyways so I wouldn't come off as rude. "Yeah?" I couldn't help my voice to be a bit uneasy.

He gave me this golden boy smile that everyone always praised him for, his pale skin so prominent under the nights natural light. His eyes a dazzling blue like they always were. I hadn't seen Stan in years, He grew rather tall, and his shoulders squared out. He was no longer that boyish figure, he was a man. His face was defined, sports done his body good, and he had this small hint of stubble on his jaw line. Almost like he forgot to shave recently. I can't picture this guy being the facial hair type. When he spoke out, I took notice to how much his voice deepened, though it still had that soft gentle feel to it, just quite a few notches lower and he must have been a bit sleepy judging by the huskiness and the fact it was around 3 am in the morning. "I haven't seen your face in a few years."

I stood there blinking like an idiot for a couple moments. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Y-yeah" I managed to stutter out, it was followed by a nervous chuckle.

Stan was not easily shied away, and took a confident stride and leaned up against the wall beside myself. For some reason it was making me self conscious, my height stopped at his shoulder. Stan was a tall guy, either that or I was a short person. I stood here in all my 5'8 glory. It didn't feel as free anymore, the air that is. It felt awkward. Like some kind of tension. I'm not sure if it was just me feeling it or not, but I wanted to have some excuse to leave. I was fiddling with my sweater sleeves now, out of a nervous habit.

"Why'd you leave?" He piped up. I felt his eyes boring at the side of my head. I wanted to ignore the question and all out avoid that blaze blue stare of his. "During grade 12, you really came out of your shell. You had a few friends, I just kinda thought you'd stay with your parents and go to college." That had me laughing. Talk about Mr Analysis.

"_Yeah_.. So did a lot of people." I dared to catch his eyes. But I honestly didn't want to talk about this right now. Or at all for that matter. "I didn't think of you as the _raver_ type." It was the best thing I could come up with. So I shoved my hands in the soft fleece of my pockets and awaited a reply.

"I'm not." At that I looked at him, and he was still looking in my direction before he smiled and trailed it towards the sky. "That look you have is saying _'What the fuck?'_" He laughed. "I have stupid friends."

"I already knew that." I looked away.

He gave an exasperated sigh. "And I'm not even talking about _those_ ones. But you did get me there. And honestly the originals really take the cake." I raised an eyebrow allowing a small smile to find its way to my features. "Different ones tonight. Still _idiotic._" I nodded along. "Would you care to meet them?"

"Huh?" He caught me off guard.

"You looked lonely. We can all have some fun together if you'd like."

I politely shook my head. He gave a nod in response. And another silence creeped over, it wasn't as uncomfortable as it was before though. So my panic was set aside.

"_Marsh!_" My heart skipped a beat. In quick and stupid thinking I pulled my sweater on as fast as possible and hooded my figure. The obnoxious fox ears now currently pointing up right, they were probably pulling more attention my way.. But it wasn't fast enough, I ended up seeing the person emerge from the dark. He was so, so _tall_. Standing above 6 foot for sure. I was in a small bit of denial with who it was. "You fucking _moron_." His voice was deep, and had just a hint of a nasally childish nature to it. My heart was racing a mile per minute at this point.

"Shut it Tucker." Stan responded.

"Were taking off, Clyde's getting too ridiculous. If you'd like a ride home, Id suggest dragging your ass along." The conversation faded from my conscious mind.

I was stuck on that name. _Clyde_. It made my blood chill. I needed to get out of there before I had to face him again. Oh, did I mention I was friends with him all through senior year? We had a few same interests and I was one of the only ones who he could share that with. He's such a great guy. I mentioned earlier about how no one gave a damn. I'm technically a liar cause Clyde was always there for the endings of high school telling me how fucking amazing the things I could do were. He was such a huge part of my life, and gave me so many realizations. He was even encouraging me to take on cosplay commissions for money when I needed a job but was terrible at customer service in food establishments. My parents down talked my hobbies but he was that one person encouraging them. He was that one person I cared for just a bit to _much_. I couldn't have it, and didn't want to make things fucking weird. I didn't want to throw my parents world upside down by telling them my supposed sexual orientation. I wasn't even sure if it was legit yet. All I could do was label it to myself as a _phase._ I just wanted to get away and hopefully find a girl that I can be happy with. I began to distance myself from him. I hadn't given any explanation as to _why_. And I've been doing good with it, I don't want to end that now. It'll be a painful reminder of what is left in Southpark, that one thing I can't have or shake away. And as I clue in to the conversation again, and gently lift my gaze from the ground to what I think is the two of them, it's too fucking late when I catch a pair of milk chocolate orbs. Everything in that moment froze for me. And my memories flooded with things I had pushed back for years. I hate it when it does this. Cause it ends up reminding me that I'm 20, and this _"phase"_ is still fucking _lingering._ The brunettes eyebrows raise significantly, and his plump pink lips stretched into a smile.

"_Keven_ Stoley?" Hearing my name from him snapped me back to reality. Although I couldn't find my voice. I gave a sheepish nod, and Clyde's loudness caught Craig's attention too. Cause he turned towards me to get a look and see if it was really the Asian nerd from his childhood. I felt like a rat in a restaurant at that moment. I was so lost, I had no fucking idea what I should say. I looked around then back at Stan. In a lack of anything that made sense I scraped something up.

"I, thought you hated each other." Nerves getting the better of my voice, cracking it mid sentence. I sounded like a pubescent boy, and I felt the heat flare in my cheeks. To my luck they didn't mention it, and Stan went to open his mouth but Craig actually interrupted him.

"It's a long story." His eyes were a pale blue, much like Stan, very electrifying. Their eyes were beautiful and not exactly the same, one shade off from one another. And judging by the ferocity of Craig's stare I didn't want to hear about the _long story._

Clyde bounded towards me and I found my eyes falling to the ground. And then I caught sight of his worn down checkered _Chuck All Stars_...

"Whoa!" Clyde's sudden burst had me jump. I looked at him. "_You_ were the one dancing! That's amazing. I didn't know you could dance.. I thought I was the only one with rhythm." He laughed. Apparently his realization hit him at the same time it hit me. "I haven't seen you in _so_ long, how've you been?" His quirky nature shone bright. He was just a bit taller them me, and his hair had always had a messy array of locks strewn about. A constant bedhead like nature. His eyes had a natural smile to them, and the color was this creamy chocolate brown. He was always stocky, it actually fit quite well with his naturally round soft face. I wanted to give him a hug. Or some kind of bro fist. But all I can do is give an honest answer.

"I've been alright. Just getting by." He nodded. Then frowned.

"Remember at graduation, when you said we'd go to comic con the year after?" his face was now in this playful glare. "Then the year after you just kinda like, moved away." He hugged himself, ever dramatic as always. "_Left me_ in the dust.. No comic con for Clyde." He gave a fake pained expression before smirking like a king and dropping his hands back down into his jean pockets. He was _right_. I wanted to go to San Diego with him for the week of _Comic Con_ the year after grad. But what he didn't know was what how badly my situation was becoming. I wanted to hang around him _so_ often I felt like I had some ridiculous _school girl_ infatuation. It was down right embarrassing for myself. And everyday when we'd meet to hang out, just sitting by him on a park bench I'd find myself thinking to much about how our legs were just barely touching. Or how when he'd whisper something to me, his breath was so warm and welcoming. I was caught up in Clyde Donovan like I've never been caught up in anyone before. And everyday it'd get _worse_, and the worse it got the more terrified I would feel. I was already ridiculed, and if I came out as a _homosexual?_ I didn't even want to go there. There wasn't away for me to just stop hanging out with him or dare even tell him what was going on with me. I just had to get out of there. I had some second thoughts, but the last straw was how hard my parents were pushing me. I didn't want to learn about business or accounting. I wanted a job in the convention industry. I wanted to even volunteer my time. I wanted to make money with doing something I loved to do. And if no one could support that then I'd find my own life. And right now, I had this guy I was so enveloped in, just standing in front of me awaiting any kind of reply or any kind of input to why I abruptly left that year. I had so many reason and ironically I didn't have _one_ I could tell him. So I went for a lie.

"Yeah." I tried for a laugh. "I had a cousin in the next town over who wanted me to head over for a job opportunity. My parents desperately wanted me to take it. _long, long_ story though." I gave him the most genuine smile. It was so silly, cause my parents really fought against me leaving. I lived with one room mate in the town that's four hours away. And I never met any of my cousins before, most of them lived in Beijing.

"Oh. So how goes the job?" _Uhhhhhhhhhhgg_. I want to pull my hair out.

"It's going good. Good money. Not the greatest job, but it gets me by." I couldn't keep eye contact. I was actually a terrible liar. But as of the past few years I've been lying to even myself. I'd like to say I've gotten better at it. And he gave a slow nod. I heard an exasperated sigh in the background.

"Donovan, we're leaving. If you're coming, then I'd suggest you take your leave now." Craig muttered. Stan gave a small wave. I gave one back as he and Craig took their leave. I looked at Clyde expecting to smile a goodbye.

"_Fuck_, I'll be there in a minute." Clyde rolled his eyes. "How long are you in town?" My heart seemed to be hammering in my chest. I wonder how long it's been doing that for.

"The next four days."

"Give me your number so we can hang out."

"_Okay..._" It sounded very pitiful coming out. He handed me his phone and I punched in my number, I clicked _save contact_ and handed him his device back. He smirked at me, and I was still stuck on our conversation. He held out his fist, and I brought up mine, he knocked them together and my body was full of this _annoying_ giddy feeling I wanted to stuff in a barrel and light a huge bonfire with. _Fuck_. What kind of man am I?

* * *

**A/N: Welcome. Thanks for reading, I've had this idea going on for some time now, finally wrote it out. Please tell me what you think, second chapters halfway written out. And the lyrics at the beginning are from _Three Days Grace_, it really awkwardly fit with what I was writing.. ._. If I missed any spelling errors or if you have any constructive criticism it's appreciated. : I seem to have a love for side characters..**


	2. You're really my dearest friend

_I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead. I don't know how to say this 'cause you're really my dearest friend._ - Studio Killers- Jenny.

* * *

I had a lot of thinking to do after last night. I immediately left, and silently entered my parents home. I was so familiar with it by now that I didn't have to think as I made my way to my old room they've kept the same for the past few years. I believe it was a silent hope that I'd come home and stay for _good_. I took a seat at my desk and just thought about it all. I'm living in this little city only a few hours away, and I'm working as a house keeper at a local hotel. I actually hate my job, and it's ironic to think that that's the reason I left home in the first place, to avoid a job I didn't want. But the job and my savings have me getting by rent with ease. However I'm not happy at all, and I can't make any friends no matter how hard I try. My room mates kind of a wacko. Well, not really, but she's just kind of weird. She makes me smile everyday, but it's different then having a friend. I _live_ with her. Shes a very pretty and quirky girl. A lot of guys swoon over her. But she's just so _out there_, and it makes getting along with her difficult for me.

I dropped my left cheek down onto my desks smooth surface, it was a nice cool sensation and it relaxed me enough to allow my eyes to droop down to half lidded. I wasn't concentrating on anything particular. I had my phone in my right hand which was carelessly hung underneath my desk. I was gently stroking the smooth plastic with my fingertips, taking small notes on how the tiny little scratches felt against the sensitive pads of my thumb. Every scratch holding a memory. Sometimes life was so simple, with no problems. I like it when it's like that. But if life were like that, I'd probably live as a very ignorant person. I like being a dreamer, thinking up ridiculous things that I can't have. Like a perfect life, or a perfect friend. Dreaming is the one place I feel safe, and the one place I'm slowly drifting off to be with. I couldn't stop it. So I just shut my eyes. Then in no time the familiar tingling sensation of pure relaxation came streaming through my limps. I was on the brink of dreaming about something, really weird. Something _MineCraft_ induced, but with a hint of realism. Though it was hard to say, because dreams change _so_ suddenly. As fast as they come they could easily switch their roads.

I would have probably fallen off my chair if the night had continued like this. But a small little beeping slowly bored it's way into my mind. I was groggy, and not really sure about where it came from yet, until I clued into the sound of one of the greatest 8 bit games I've ever played. The first _Legend Of Zelda game_, for Nintendo NES. I brought my phone up and put it on my desk while I gave a stretch for the ceiling. I wasn't really clued into reality yet as I reached for my handheld portable life and read the message before my eyes finding myself instinctively squinting at the light.

_"Hey, we should hang tomorrow! You awe me for Comic Con. Lol.."_

I took a few moments still adjusting to the world around me. Then another one popped up.

_"**OWE.. Goddamn Iphone and their bucking auto correct."_

I smiled.

_"*****FUCKING..."_

It hit me in the face afterwords that it was Clyde. Fuck, I still didn't really have a game plan for this yet. I hadn't thought things through. But I felt like I needed to talk to him _ASAP_ or I'd never get to speak to him again. So I decided on some kind of distraction.

_"Whoa, it's like.. basically 4 30 in the morning. Your still up? oOo"_

And it was a weird moment while I watched the sending bar build up. I shouldn't have added that weird face at the end. I wish you can take messages back, _but of course_.. Life is not fucking like _that_. I found myself getting up from my chair stripping my clothes, and stumbling around the dark to get into my pajama pants before I fell face first into my mattress. It was _so_ comfortable. It had this heavenly layer of just, _softness_. I was _really_ tired and everything seemed so foreign right now. I wanted to deny myself something I craved _so_ badly but I just couldn't do it. I really wanted to hang out with Clyde more then anything. I hadn't seen the guy in a few years and I used to know him as good as a best friend should. I missed out on a lot with him and I really_-more then anything-_would like to do some catching up. But I'm _scared..._ And I feel like I'm trying to subconsciously give myself some kind of punishment for having such annoying controlling hormones _back then_. Heck, I don't even know how I feel around him anymore. It could just be nerves getting the best of me, but I'd like to know for sure.

If that _phase_ is still lingering I don't want it to make me feel crushingly awkward again like it used too. It's one of the _worst_ feelings I've ever felt. It was so dangerous, it was waters I've never swam in before. I just want to stand by Clyde and feel that warm and fluffy _friendship_ I felt after the first few weeks of knowing him. They were _golden_, and together we were _kings_. I don't know what changed for me, I really don't. And perhaps I'm still scared of it because, I'm allowing myself to be scared of it. Maybe the best solution is to face him, and to tell myself that I miss my friendship _ to much_ to let go, and I'm _going_ to get it back. A phase is a distinct period of a forming development in ones self, right? All I need is a time of realization. I can't have a realization without facing the problem head on. So I _have_ to hang out with him. And as I looked at my phone, I had realized Clyde text me back a good 5 minutes ago.

_"Says the one awake."_

He got me there. Smart ass.

_"Anyways.. ... What would you like to do tomorrow? I'm free all day."_

Again, just like last time, I watched the message send. And once it did, I rested my phone on my chest and focused my gaze at the ceiling. It was dark, and the color was a cream like the rest of this boring house. I always wanted to paint my room growing up but I was never allowed too. I wonder what they'd do, if my twenty year old ass went and bought some poppy red paint and painted this bitch. Would my dad pull his belt off and _spank_ me with it? I couldn't help but start laughing alone in the dark at the thought. Cause they'd probably react that way. My parents just _couldn't_ let me grow up in their eyes. I'll always be a child unless I walk their path, their path that I've told myself I wont ever walk. I have no idea why I was so stuck on this weird kind of rebellion. And just then Clyde's reply came in.

_"We should dance bomb the mall. It'd be funny! Lol, and I got something I really need to show you! I showed Craig before and he called me a geeky retard. So I know you'll love it!"_

I bit my bottom lip softly to simmer my building laugh into a silent giggle. I love how he kinda complimented me and insulted me at the same time.

_"Thanks... Dance bomb the mall? I'm afraid I don't follow."_

I honestly didn't get it.

_"Ohhhhhh, You know.. Dance bomb the- Nevermind. I'll show you tomorrow, you're going to love it."_

Perhaps he's right. Dance mob does kind of sound fun... I guess.

_"Maybe I will lol."_

It was weird. We kept going back and forth with our messages, and the next thing I caught glimpse of the clock and it was _5 30am!_ I hate staying up this early because then I have a restless sleep. I told Clyde a quick goodnight. And awaited his reply. Falling back into how we used to act was very nice. I'm glade he made it so easy. He sent his goodnight, and then I was able to turn over and close my eyes.

* * *

"Kevin, _Kevin_ wake up." _Uhhhhng..._ My body felt _so_ sore. But I turned over and faced my father anyways, my eyes dropped and looked at the time. 8 am. _God.._

"_Whaaa'is_ it dad?" I trailed off in a long powerful yawn.

"You _must_ get up, we're heading out in a half hour." What the hell is he talking about? I'm so tired.

"Do I have to come?" By this point I was blinking the sleep from my eyes, and taking my body into a sitting position. I was almost to my full extent, awake. And when my dad ignored my question and headed out the door, it ended up being an answer in itself. I pulled my lazy ass out of bed and got ready. I wasn't really sure where my dad was taking me, but I was _so_ hoping it wasn't work. Cause today was supposed to be his day off. When I made it downstairs my dad was in the kitchen conversing with my mom. He was in black slacks, a white button up, and it was tucked in ever so nicely and kept in place with a nice black leather belt. The mans getting old, he had this weird thing where he wanted to keep his glasses from a long time ago. You know, the times when they were as thick as a bottle cap? He's had many opportunities to change them to some of the thinner lenses of today's people but every single time he refuses. I think it's some kind of attachment to the past. So he had these_ really_ thick lenses and his salt and pepper hair was in a clean comb over. I wonder when old people will realize a comb over actually doesn't hide the glistening skin beneath it. I love my dad.

"Good morning.." I mumbled, as they both turned their attention towards their only son. I was still rubbing my eyes, and must have looked like a mess or something. My dad didn't really give me time to adjust, he just grabbed his car keys and headed for the door. My mom gave me a smile as I followed my father and slipped on my shoes. Then to my surprise he walked right past his car. I caught up to him quickly falling in tune to his steps, and casually gazed forward. Looks like he was taking us to town. "Where are we heading to?"

My dad just smiled. "I'm just going to take my son out for some coffee after his _night out_. He can probably use it." I gave a small flinch. So they _did_ know I left at midnight. I probably look like some party-going asshole now.

"Is this punishment?" The man laughed at me.

"Maybe, if you consider it as one." I sighed. "All I really wanted, was to take my son out for some coffee. I haven't seen him for a _long_ time." I felt like kind of an asshole for jumping to assumptions because this is true. Last few visits he wasn't home, he was gone visiting family.

"Yeah, I guess it has been awhile." I couldn't really think of anything else to say.

The walk wasn't long but it _was_ quiet. My father and I didn't have to many things in common, which meant we couldn't really think of what to say to each other. So it ended up just being a silent walk. It was familiar though. And I couldn't complain about it. My dad and I never often conversed. But I wasn't surprised when my dad had brought me to the only coffee shop in town. I held the door open for him and when I took a look inside I was thrown off and a bit surprised. The place was pretty full for one, and in the corner at one of these round tables sat four familiar faces. Craig, Kenny, Clyde, and Stan. The same _exact_ people I seen at three in the morning, although added one. They were all out and about again, early as ever. For a moment I was going to tell my dad I was going to wait outside. But, I realized that running wasn't going to help me. Like I was thinking about earlier, I can't run form this, I have to face it. And as of right now, as my feet head towards a table full of people I don't technically know except for one, I'm deciding that I'm not going to allow my stupid hormones to take control of a friendship like that. I'm going to have Clyde _back_ as my _friend._ It was bold of me, and their attention all seemed to be glued to the monitor of a laptop. I swallowed my nerves.

"Do you _ever_ sleep?" And just like that, all of their attention shot up, eyes all focused on my face. It was a statement that was meant for Clyde, but could have easily been used for them all. I felt suddenly self conscious thinking about how tired and run down I probably look. And my body responded to that judging by the heat pooling on my cheeks. Clyde's eyebrow arose significantly and his lip quirked into a small cocky smile.

"Say's the one awake." I couldn't help but chuckle, He got me there _again._ Although I had a reason, my dad kicked me out of bed. But no way was I going to tell him that part.

"Well, their all sent out." Craig's voice interrupted. Kenny piped up at hearing that and looked over Craig's shoulder at the screen. He smiled.

"_Nooooow,_ we wait." The blonde replied and then presumably picked up a latte and brought it to his lips. He took a sip, then his eyes widened. He immediately set his drink on the table and threw his full attention at me. "_Kevin_ Stoley?" I think I felt my eye twitch. I nodded. "_Holly crap_ you grew." He was smirking. Wow, Kenny got confident. From when I last seen him anyways. But like I said I never really knew the guy, so from afar he looked like a kid who was always hiding. Although I wasn't always perfect with my assumptions so there was a chance I could be wrong. Examining his face, he was pale as ever, and his cheeks were littered in the lightest freckles. Kenny's hair was a messy array of dirty blonde locks, his eyes were a pale blue, and his face was very smooth around the edges. But what defined him as a man was this thick stubble that trailed his jaw line. And it was hard to not notice the deep purple love bite at the base of his neck. Kenny was a handsome man, no doubt about that. "You still going to_ Star Trek_ conventions to hail _Darth Vader_ as god?" His voice sounded very amused.

I smiled "Those, are two _different_ things..." He looked at me, and then laughed at himself.

"_Woops_."

"But _yes_, I am still attending weird things." He nodded. He looked at me again. And it was a good long look this time, and I felt like I was shrinking beneath it.

"That stuffs getting pretty mainstream now though. there's so many people into it, it's like some kind of _'in'_ thing now." Marsh seemed to be agreeing with the blondes words of wisdom. I took notice to Stan's shaven and smooth face, unlike from earlier. It is true, every year there's another convention added to the list. And every year there are more and more people attending. Kenny turned his attention towards Stan. "Have you ever _been_ to one of those places? _Holly shit_ the girls are _hot!_" Stan seemed to be holding in some kind of giggle.

Clyde grinned, "have you ever got to see a _Cammy White_ cosplayer?" Kenny's eyes widened and he shook his head.

"If I _did_ I probably would have died and went to heaven."

"You'd go to the deepest pits of hell you _whore_." Craig broke the fun. Kenny raised a brow and slid closer to the stone cold man beside him.

"Every party needs a _pooper_ doesn't it Craig? That's why god made you." Kenny's voice dropped a couple of notches in tone, I think he was going for sexy although I wasn't totally sure. "_But_, those were harsh words Tucker. I _demand_ an apology." I immediately got awkward as the atmosphere seemed to have shifted. The blonde was flush against the guy now, and Craig seemed to be trying to ignore him with his attention glued to the LED. He typed out a few words as the blondes mouth got significantly closer and closer to his ear. And for a few moments he just let his breath fan out against Tuckers exposed vulnerable flesh.. I studied Craig's face and he seemed to be taking it like a champ. But then the blondes tongue ran a slow trail from the lobe all along to the top where he gave a gentle nibble. When I took another look at the victim he still hadn't flinched. But, there _was_ a _small_, miniscule detail that threw his cover. There was this tiny hint of pink that was hewing over his creamy pale face. However he just wouldn't give the blonde any form of satisfaction. I honestly couldn't believe what I was witnessing. How can two guys just display such an action in front of a whole coffee shop? It baffled me. I just couldn't look away, and then Kenny's mouth dropped down to Craig's neck, it was then that Tucker frowned. Slowly his right hand came up, grabbed Kenny by the hair and shoved him away. The rest of the group started laughing while I stood their dumbfounded.

"Kevin's face is all _red_." _What. A. Dick_. I couldn't help this glare that just magnified itself to Clyde's face. He grinned like some kind of _cat_. I was going to tell him off, but the laughter of Kenny and Stan made it_ worse_. This time it felt like a deep burn and all I wanted to do was drop my body under this table and hide in shame. I swear to god I was about to do it when a voice piped up.

"Here you go, _your highness._" The voice came off really soft. Though there was an edge to it, like it was ready to swing to high heights at any moment if it needed to. "I don't know why you insist I bring you your girly latte _Tucker_." After that, a really tall blonde placed a steaming cup in front of Craig who_-to my astonishment-_smiled as the man leaned his hip against the table while his arms crossed along his chest. I _immediately_ knew who this was. Someone I wish I'd never have had to leave for _so_ long.

"Tweek?" The boys shoulders tensed at the use of his name from a voice he probably barely remembers. As he turned around his Cambridge blue eyes widened, for a moment his arms flew up like he was going to hug me. But afterwords they dropped down immediately, and he got awkward like this wasn't the time and place for it. His fingers started to fidget against his black slacks, stroking at the seam line. His thin pink lips curled into a smile but his gaze dropped to the ground.

"_Kevin,_ I haven't seem you in a few years. It's been so long." I smiled very genuine and held my arms up. He always needed a nudge in the right direction before he felt comfortable following his own decisions. He looked at me and grinned, taking my embrace. He was so thin, but he definitely emitted a warm and fluffy vibe. Tweek was one of my good friends through grade eleven to twelve, _aside_ from Clyde. He and I had lots in common. Not like Clyde and I who appreciated the nerdy side of life, Like conventions and ball jointed anime dolls. Tweek and I got along because we shared a lot of the same experiences in our closed minded little hick school. I was picked on, he was picked on, and strangely enough we got put in a lot of the same classes all through our senior year. We loved to be partners for projects and stuff. No one ever wanted to partner with either of us so it worked great for our part. People say Tweek has problems. And he does, he has mental issues. It's clear as day. But everyone has problems, and Tweek's one of those people who live an everyday life without much help. He can handle what he has, he doesn't need people pointing it out to him. And I think that's the biggest reason he warmed up to me. I never pitied him. And not to mention he has a good head on his shoulders, this boy was _very_ smart. And every project we'd do together we'd _ace it_. I often picked Tweek over Clyde for class projects, merely because the blonde actually participates. And on the side I admired Clyde's pouty childish face.

"_I know!_ It's great to see you again!" We broke apart as he nodded an agreement. "We must hang out some time! I'll be here for four days."

"_Nooooo!_" A whiney voice break out in the background. I raised an eyebrow at the brunette. "_We_ were supposed to hang out _remember?_" He jut out his bottom lip. Tweek snickered.

"_No_ Donovan. I'm going to hang out with Tweek for the next _ninety six hours_. I drop you completely." I crossed my arms at my sarcastic tone of voice, a smirk rising on my face.

He scoffed. "_Okay_, I get it." I stuck my tongue out. It was a symbol of a spunky, _"good."_

I ignored Clyde again. "Give me your number Tweek then I can get a hold of you." He did just that. I added him as a contact and he added me. I was about to resume my conversation when I realized I just abruptly ditched my dad. "_Oh my_, I'll talk to you guys in a bit." I smiled and gave a small wave. As I was walking away I heard Kenny mutter,

"Do all geeky kids grow up sexy? Isn't Kevin kinda hot now? And all the hot girls at those events, is it a requirement?" I wanted to abruptly stop, then I heard a loud _SHHHHHHHHHHHH_. Tweek's voice becoming very prominent.

"Kevin can still _hear you Kenny!_" Clyde was laughing

"Good." I think he only did this to fuck with the fidgety blonde, and maybe ruin my life along the way too. He raised his voice significantly "Stoley I just want you to know, you're a sexy mother fucker now with your stylish hair and shapely legs! My heart goes out _to-_"

"_Oh my god!_" Tweek squealed, and I was catching their reflection in the window as Tweek was forcefully covering Kenny's grinning mouth. I decided to dismiss them as I slid into the seat with my dad. For a moment he looked awkward.

"_Please_ ignore the idiots." _No point in defending their behavior._ He just raised an eyebrow before clearing his throat, then I noticed a cup in front of me. I took a small sip and then got enveloped in a moment of bliss. "_Pumpkin spice!_ My god, you know me well'pa." His smile was very sincere and made the lines on his face very prominent.

"Kevin, I have something I want you to try for me." I nodded, sipping at my drink. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I took a quick glimpse at the screen. Clyde Donovan, _I can still see you..._

I had to steal a look at their table where he sat there giving me this creeper look. I rolled my eyes at him and gave my full attention to my father. But I have to admit, after leaving for those few years I love how I was able to fall right back to how it was with him. Clyde wasn't weird about it, and he just wanted to resume where we left off, and I couldn't be more grateful. I'm more then willing to open our friendship back up again and pick up what I left behind. I wish I hadn't abandoned it in the first place.

"I have a position for you." I widened my eyes at my father, questioning him. "The _Geek squad_ Kevin. There's an opening and I can give it to you, I know you can do it. _Best Buy_ would be great for you." For some reason I started laughing, I just couldn't help it. How damn ironic.

"Oh _god_. Sorry dad, it's just ironically funny. I used to be so upset when I was a kid with that label. It's become the _'cool'_ thing lately. I just couldn't help but laugh at it.. Don't be offended." I stared at his face of confusion through half lidded amused eyes slowly swirling my drink around in my hands. It wafted the sweet pumpkin smell through the air and I loved it. My dad gave an awkward smile and nodded his head. My dad is a manager for the only Best Buy in town. So he had the authority to give me this job. I should be happy. But having these black rimmed glasses of mine and working at _Geek Squad_, wouldn't that just seal my life?

"I know, _I know_." He gave his dark coffee a stare before he began his speech. "I'm _worried_ about you Kevin." _Oh here we go._ "You're not going to college or anything, but you're so smart. You have so much potential and you're just not.." He trailed off lost in thought, "doing, _anything_ with it. I'm trying to help you." I know it's his worst pet peeve. And I can sympathize. But I really don't want to go to college.

"Don't I need a _degree_ for that job?" For a moment I thought he was trying to trick me into going to college and getting a job he wanted me to be in.

"Kevin, you're my _son_. I've had you my whole life and I know you have all the knowledge for a position like this. I can get you in. _Please._" I felt like he was begging me. And As I was staring in his eyes I seen exactly what he was feeling. He _was_ actually worried about me. As his only son I think he just wanted me to impact the world as hard as I could, like any good parent would. I did have the potential to be anything he wanted me to be, but what he didn't get is I wanted to be what I wanted to be. And I have the potential to make that happen too. I wanted to design costumes and make all sorts of cool things. He doesn't see that as a _real job_, but in the world we live today, it's one of the biggest jobs you can even get. It can be high paying as well. And wanting to accomplish something like that makes me worry that I'll never make him happy. But, with the way he's looking at me right now, I'm realizing I haven't done anything for my parents at all since high school. I even_ left_ them. Maybe this is the one thing I could do to make them happy for once.

"Of _course._" His smile was so big and sincere, he was obviously ecstatic to hear my conclusion.

* * *

**Chapter 2. I'm flowing with inspiration right now. And oh, my, god. I keep finding songs that match what I'm writing.. Lol. Studio Killers~**


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